Feeling sort of discouraged today. The walking thing seems like the only thing I am losing is sleep. Up when I wake each morning - I have only missed one day other than my Sunday rest days, and yesterday's weight was up 2 lbs.
Also continue to feel discouraged that I/we put so much effort into maintaining relationships with others, and it seems like no one then can be bothered to come by here to check on us. Should I set specific date invitations? Admittedly, I am not good at just stopping by, except doing so in Buckhannon.
And I am discouraged in that I miss what I am going to call "spiritual direction". I miss the opportunities to explore what God might be saying to me - I can not depend on Alicia for that, she has made it very plain to me that she is now family, not my pastor. And I am having a difficult time with Tim as my spiritual director. I don't think that his alignment in pastoring. I want more that a bible study of what did it mean, and more of what does it me to me, to my life now. Gotta keep searching for that.
All of which makes me feel very self-centered. Other people have real problems, and I whine because I feel left out. I am very frustrated by the fact that I can not train, much less contain the grapevine that is overtaking everything, and the multiflora rose. Fallen trees that have (some of them) lain uncut for years. Poison ivy that is overtaking too much of our "yard" with no one caring but me, but I get "I'll take care of that" when I complain..... but nothing is ever done.
OK, I have ranted on enough. Time to get off my duff and do a bit of that trimming around the driveway, then I can clean up. I may be the only one that cares or notices, but I am someone and I am important if not to anyone else, to me and to God.
