Passing clouds

As I sat here this morning, in what promises to be a "mostly sunny" day, watching out my window, I saw a bank of clouds moving our way.  Immediately I felt myself getting depressed and grumbling.  Then I had this epiphany, that the sun is still there even when hidden by the clouds.  Sounds so simple doesn't it. 

At that point, I realized that just like the sun is behind the clouds, that when I feel I am in darkness, that God, the light, is still there as well.

I love the expession the Quakers use, when they "hold (someone) in the light".  Took me many years (like 50 maybe) to realize that was their equivalent to "keeping the in prayer".  God says He is the I AM.  Jesus, as part of the Triune God, is also the word, or I AM. 

I did discuss some of my concern with Tim yesterday - and we talked about my enjoyment of the book, The Shack.  The sense of color the character sees when he has accepted God and his ways.  And now how that too, relates to God and light and ominpresence, even when I feel alone.

A lady where I work out yesteday remarked if I felt teary, I must be depressed.  I also get teary when things cause me to be happy.  I will take my tears over this renewed revelation to be tears of joy.  Because behind each cloud is the sun (well, given it it day light) and beyond each darkness is God's presence, even at night. 

I am loved, no matter what, warts, unkind thoughts, and all. 

Thanks to the grace of God.  Thanks be to God.

Word for 2013

Various bloggers that I respect select a word to represent their plan for their life in the coming year.  I am adopting the word LISTEN as my word.  To be still and listen - to God and to others.  To not spend the time someone else is speaking preparing my next remarks.  And that will be a bit difficult for me.

And while I am listening, I will listen to see if I am to let others know that I (randomly) post to this blog.  I would like to share my knitting experiences more or less as they occur, with others.  And this blog would be a good place to share.  Like twice this Christmas season having to almost hold my breath that I would have enough yarn to finish a pair of socks.  In both cases I started the set convinced I had enough yarn, then doubting as the second sock was nearing completion- and the skein of yarn significantly dwindling.  In both cases I found myself making alternate plans- going to be bed and --- could I find another skein, if I did would it show a significant difference in the dye lot.... would I have to frog and re-knit with a slightly shorter cuff....?  In both cases I forged ahead, and in both cases ended up with enough - and a very small ball of leftover yarn.

Is that how I treat myself?  With doubt in myself.  Isn't that part of my positive listening that I am going to work hard on this year?  When I (or another person that I trust) tell me I have enough, to sincerely believe.  So maybe the first place to start is to Listen and see if I should share this blog.

What do you think, God?

The Purpose of Christmas

As I read an advent message today, I am reminded that the purpose of Christmas was that we be one with God.  Atonement - that time when we are At One with God.  All God wants for us to do is to surrender to his purposes, of love.  As Micah says, to love mercy, do justice and be one with God.  Let my gifts to others, those given and those yet to give, be representative of my love and not simply things that might bring pleasure to myself or others.

Through the messages of the past several days, I am again reminded that God takes "ordinary" people to do extraordinary things as vessels of delivering the message of God's love for each and every one of us. 

May it be so as I live my life-
Thanks be to God.

Advent versus Christmas

We are in the liturgical season of Advent, but in general public, we party as if it is Christmas.  It is hard to be quiet and prepare in public.  The mood is festive, not anticipatory waiting.  My gift shopping is close to completed.  We celebrated our family gathering and gift exchange on Saturday, and the greatest gift we recieved was being together with our family.  I would say "especially our lost granddaughter" - but truly I was happy to see each and every person.  I was happy to see my daughter in law's enjoyment of our gifts to her - I was happy to see our son  being able to spend time with his daughter.  I was happy to see our 14yr old granddaughter with all her make-up and our 17 yr old  being so "grown  up".  I am always happy to spend time with my daughter and son.

Now I am in an advent mode - trying to sit quietly with scripture and with God.  Reading and hearing the prophet Micah as he reminds us to be preparing our lives and our hearts by doing God's work - caring for others, not putting ourselves first.  Not being greedy.

My greed sometimes in other's happiness - perhaps I get too much joy from purchasing and making things that will bring joy to another - a form of greed, of which I am guilty.

So today, I will go to the church, and prepared Christmas cards for those who are not able to come to church and remind them that they are still in our hearts.  And in that way sit with God and listen.  May we all remember to slow down and listen - stop, watch and listen, not just for oncoming trains, but for God to be in our hearts.

Owning the truth

Today Sandpiper used John 17: 37 where Jesus says "Everyone who is of the truth hears my voice".  Those of us that know the truth - that Jesus is the Son of God, and thus God, know of His kingly stature - not someone like Pilate, someone come to rule the world in an earthly manner.

And Sandpiper went on to say that if you know the truth (emphasis mine) - the truth owns you.  I find this disturbingly appropriate this morning.  Over the last couple days, I used the savings acct with my inheritance to pay a bill - off setting what I had spent for Keith's weather station and our fun trip to Va to be with Robin and family (and Mira and family).  And in my haste when I made that transfer, I thought the amount in the savings acct was $5000 less that I thought I remembered it to be. 

I have "fretted" over that for the last several days.  Gone over my notepad of what I  had spent the inheritance money on.  My fear has been - since I deposited the $25,000, that I would "fritter it away" and not know/remember where it had gone.  I wanted that money to "count for something".  I guess maybe I thought it would devalue Florence if I could not account for my spending.

Well, after compiling what I could here at the house to verify my accounting for what I had spent, I was ready to confront the bank-  so I actually took a minute to look again at the bank account on the web, and indeed, the truth was what I remembered.  not what I thought I had seen - and as someone famous had said, that truth freed me from worry. 

So, let there be two lessons from this - one, if I trust myself to know the truth, trust yourself/have faith in your intuitions.  And, don't spend so much time worrying, double check the account - maybe I saw some number incorrectly.  Enough said.

Faith in God, faith in myself.  Gotta love it - and myself.

Temporality

This is a new word for me - and I love learning new words.  My (old) dictionary defines temporality as the quality of state of being temporal.   So, the next step is to define Temporal - lasting only for a time - temporary, not eternal - of this world, not spiritual - hmm, civil or secular, not ecclesiastical - of or limited by time.  I guess that defines me / life.

In my reading of today's devotion in The Upper Room Disciplines, today's author uses Revelation 1: 4b-8 as her text.  There are serveral references in that passage of God/Christ as the beginning and the end,   And the author's reminder is that while God is everlasting, we are temporary.  I am again reminded of my instructions as I was being prepared to join the church, of God's infinite-ness.  God being the Alpha and the Omega - ominipresent, omniscient, omnipotent. 

And my more recent recognition that this all present, all knowing, all powerful God LOVES  ME NOT MATTER WHAT!  What wonderful knowledge. 

And this passage again from today -"The confidence in our anticipation is the sense in which that always-future-coming reflects the everlasting nature of the God we have always known in and through Jesus Christ."

And then, this other recurring thought - I miss being involved in a spiritual formation / spiritual development group.  I continue to pray and look for opportunities to form or join such a group.  In the meanwhile, I am thankful for a spiritual leader that stirred my thought proccesses. 

Hmm, always-future-coming.  Save your fork, the best is yet to come. 
Thanks be to God.

Publish?

I am considering making this page known to others.  I know it can be "found" and may be seen by others who just click the "next blog" choice at the top of the page, but not sure.....

Reasons for letting others know about it - as a way of keeping myself and others informed on a more or less regular basis of what I have accomplished.  Like yesterday I:
finished the knitting on sweater for g for Christmas
did a massive trim on the butterfly bushes beside the deck - several of the largest stems were broken in this last storm and decided while I was at it, to just do them both in a similar fashion
walked the back of our property and saw all the damage of the two storms- hard to pinpoint what was just this last as the foliage had been on when the June storm occurred, though I think most of the damage on the back "hill" was this last storm.  And realized that I NEED HELP TO GET THIS CLEANED UP!
Walked a mini loaf of bread up to Dewey's house - they have two horses up there! (left it on the fr ont porch bench ( and need to remember to call and see it they found it-)
Cleared up my confusion about socks for G - will try to get a pair made for him for Christmas.  I did not want to "take away" from A his homemade sock knitting if she wanted to make them for him.
Changed sign at Crim to read "Operation Christmas Child Shoe box collection site. 
Finished book "Cider House Rules"

Did not get done - vacuuming in house -
A real walk (though I did walk to D's  house and did get to The Workout.)