Wednesday-

Mid week - almost the middle of April.  No real organized thoughts today.  Just feel the desire to blog a bit.

I have been uneasy recently - whatever is going on with/in my right eye has settled into being unable to read normal print and a definite mess in the middle of my vision and since 1982 my right eye has been my "best" eye.  Left eye post cataract has the best distance vision - right not as good, and now clearly (almost a pun there-) not as clear in the central vision.  Still functions well for giving me depth perception and .

Been participating in the "Advancing  your Spiritual Growth" class T is leading.  Discovered last week that the paper work he has given us did not make sense with the chapter we were "assigned" - no wonder, the paper work covers numerous chapters.  Goes to show he is not a teacher -  As I have commented to E and A, I am looking for some assistance in my spirit - more in the line of nurturing than feeding.  Made sense to me.

And now I find I am having real issues with my weight again.  During the time I was walking last fall into winter, I got down to the lower 170's.  Then winter struck, I quit regular walking and weight started up again.  When I got sick it went down, then up a few pounds for a couple weeks, then down over 2 lbs and now today back up.  I am at a serious cross roads that means discarding those summer clothes I really liked and was proud to wear in size 14 and buying more in a larger size.  Very discouraging.  But I recognize that eating is enjoyable to me and I am at a place where I feel little satisfying.

I am also discouraged about something I have no control over, but keep urging and trying.  I really need to let that one go- even tho I have been a cheerleader for the effort.  Very discouraging to want to do things, and feel powerless.  Like all the brush that needs to be cleaned up around here- no point in starting more brush piles when the ones I've created over the years are still waiting.  And too many big branches and trees I really can not move.

OK, enough for now - even this computer annoys me since the cursor does not move and if I pause, when I start back to typing the darn thing starts somewhere mid sentence.  Guess I have a LOT of things I can't control and I better just get used to it!

But I KNOW that God loves me, NO MATTER WHAT, even when it seems I have trouble loving myself.