New Experience

Yesterday I met with a Spiritual Director for the first time.  I was uncertain about this.  Two Pastors that I respect meet have spiritual direction and one of them, a valued friend, suggested this might be an avenue for me - beyond what I was feeling with my current pastor,

As I met with him, initially I was uncomfortable.  I started by giving some of my personal history especially as it related to my "spiritual life", I discussed times when I specifically felt the presence of God - weeding, walking, my morning quiet time and he kindly nodded and smiled from time to time.   I became more comfortable discussing my feelings.  I think this will be a good experience.  The ability to discuss things like "laws are for the lawless" - and we are all God's creatures - and that even people like the Boston Bomber - or bin Laden, are loved by God, just have deviated from the path God may have preferred they take.

Made me feel a little less out of step with people in general.  My desire and prayer now are to be able to be comfortable when I use words to others that may come out strange, but are meant to be of comfort. 

Truely, the presence of the Lord is in this place- I can feel His power and His grace.  An affirmation back from my Quaker days that hearing and feeling God is not unique to people who are called to have ministry as their life profession.

Thanks be to God!

"Post-op"

Over the last few months and weeks I have been dealing with vision issues (which may also be some type of a pun-).  Since early this year I have had an actual eye issue - which ultimately was diagnosed as a hole in my macula.  A little less than two weeks ago I had a vitrectomy - some of the fluid in the back of my eye was withdrawn and a bubble of gas was injected.  I spent over a week with my head facing the floor so that the gas bubble could exert pressure on the back of the eye to close the hole - to heal.  And according to follow up tests, it worked.  I rejoiced.  And of course I expected immediate return to "normal" sight and activities.

I might add, that I had carefully scheduled this so that all that I wanted to be part of could occur.  I have also been unable to separate the part of me that is pretty science based in analyzing all that is happening - all that I "see".  And I keep wishing I had know what was happening in advance to be better prepared to tolerate it as it happened.  Like, who knew that the bubble would become darker as it got smaller (hence increasingly harder to ignore....), or that it would reflect light and allow me to see and try to ignore rays of light.

Did I mention that I had carefully scheduled this so that I could "do it all" - everything that I had planned to do over the end of May into the last of June?  There had been a few bumps in the road. My husband has a health issue that should have been resolved in a couple months, now going on seven months.  But he has cheerfully adjusted/adapted.  Friends have had health concerns- and we have adapted.

But the continuing message to me is pretty clear - let go and Let God take control.  A VERY HARD lesson for someone like me.  So I will contine to give thanks for the healing I am experiencing, for the patience of my husband, and for the way God forgives my shortcomings, and Loves ME no matter what!  May I always rejoice and give God the glory and share HIS love with all the world- in action and in words.

Thanks be to God.