Maybe I should have titled this success and failure. This AM I read the chapter on Success in Joan Chittester's book The Gift of Years Growing Older Gracefully. I certainly am not a success at family. My children rarely call, and frequently are not available when I call them. My grandchildren prefer electronic communication - the two that communicate - and seem to prefer to do that in social media. I have one brother than seems to prefer to be isolated in terms of communication and another with which I have infrequent communication. And my sister loves to talk but it seems only when I call her.
I have debated with myself if I am depressed. I don't think so - I think I am tired of making all the effort. My husband is content to have little outside contact - his idea of the ideal vacation spot is one that has free wi-fi and good tv reception. Many days our phone does not ring at all - and if it does, it is someone trying to sell us something or on some idea (think politician....).
I see the beauty of this changing season and am almost fearful of the next season of snow and potential isolation. I want to be doing things - improving the way our property looks, visiting with others, sharing new yarn I have gotten, the progress on projects, the way the spirit works in mysterious ways.
I am certainly not content with everything in my life. I am impatient to see progress - get the trimming done, have the apples canned (I did 7 qts apple pie filling yesterday) and have a chance to sit and talk - or walk and talk. I am content that my relationship with my Lord is mine to cultivate, to grow and to be responsive. I am thankful for my health and that of my close relatives.
Maybe I am too impatient with others. Again today, I will pray to be patient - to be open to the leading of the Holy Spirit - in His/Her own time.....
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