Trust.... myself

So, my word for this year has been TRUST.  And it is pretty amazing how often I find that word fits in many of my uncomfortable moments.

In my "contemplative knitting" - the item I knit on in my quiet time and pay attention to the motions of my hands, not knit while I am talking or waiting or watching TV - I recently needed to do a join of one skein to the next.  I did the join sort of loosely a few days ago, and then had issues with the way it looked.  Clearly too loose and made an obvious hump.  So I had decided to take out the rows between the join and where I had gotten.  I made up my mind that it had to be corrected, which meant pulling the stitches tight that involved my join.  So that was what I did this morning.  And in doing so I had now two issues - the strength of the join/weld, and remembering how many rows I took out so the pattern would be maintained.  As I un-knit (some say tink-), I realized that my issue with trust was many times in trusting myself.  In this case, in trusting the strenght of my weld of the yarns.

So, as I reknit the join area, I pulled it tight enough to not have an obvious gap, thinking I had to trust that weld - and lo and behold it is fine.  Hardly shows.  And I could tell when I had used up the yarn I unknit and when I started to go farther than I had undone. So yes, today my lesson in trust is to TRUST myself- my welds, my decisions, and perhaps even that I am loved and remembered even when I am out of sight.  Enough said. Amen.