Kitchen work

Our church is preparing to renovate out kitchen.  This will be a significant project for us.  We have money dedicated for the work and will need some additional "fund raising".  We are being blessed by many who are providing services and physical labor.  But (and there seems always to be a "But"...) we are falling behind in our regular obligations financially.  

As a member of the "kitchen crew", we desperately need a new stove - ours has rust around the face of the oven - seen when you open the door - and one door spring has broken so it needs to be propped closed when  you are baking.  And there is an area around our sink (not the proscribed 3 bowl sink) that is not sealed and you can guess the rest of that story.  We are reasonably sure the Health dept has kept a "blind eye" to our needs because we are a church.

But as a member of the finance committee, I am gravely concerned that people will dedicate their limited resources to update our kitchen to shiny new, and ignore our financial obligations, and the potential negative effect that may have on our ability to support a pastoral leader with advanced education.

Soon it will be time for me to head to church - today we serve a dinner to the district clergy.  We have a reputation of serving a great meal, not just soup and sandwiches   Maybe we can energize others to see our mission as beyond the kitchen and into the world.  Sure hope so!

Snow Day

I know I am a valued child of God.  I know my identity is not defined by where I am and what I do.  But today feels so strange.  It is Sunday - and we are not going to church.  I have sat in silence, I know it's OK with God, but it feels strange.  There is snow - yes - but if I had had to go to work, or somewhere, I would have made it.  But now I am 70, my husband 72, and we gave ourselves permission to just not go today.

And more snow is forecast.  My plea at this point is to be able to make our planned luncheon for A on Thursday.  I can move money around in accounts to avoid the planned first of the month trip to the bank.  Only problem there will be the 30 day thing, so each month will move farther and farther from the actual first of the month.  I guess there are ways of dealing with that as well.

So today I will have periods of quiet - and times I am annoyed, but I will remind myself that it is OK with God to miss one Sunday - and remember to "Be Still".

Now to try again to scare off those annoying scavenger "black birds" -

Thanks God for loving me just as I am.

Passing clouds

As I sat here this morning, in what promises to be a "mostly sunny" day, watching out my window, I saw a bank of clouds moving our way.  Immediately I felt myself getting depressed and grumbling.  Then I had this epiphany, that the sun is still there even when hidden by the clouds.  Sounds so simple doesn't it. 

At that point, I realized that just like the sun is behind the clouds, that when I feel I am in darkness, that God, the light, is still there as well.

I love the expession the Quakers use, when they "hold (someone) in the light".  Took me many years (like 50 maybe) to realize that was their equivalent to "keeping the in prayer".  God says He is the I AM.  Jesus, as part of the Triune God, is also the word, or I AM. 

I did discuss some of my concern with Tim yesterday - and we talked about my enjoyment of the book, The Shack.  The sense of color the character sees when he has accepted God and his ways.  And now how that too, relates to God and light and ominpresence, even when I feel alone.

A lady where I work out yesteday remarked if I felt teary, I must be depressed.  I also get teary when things cause me to be happy.  I will take my tears over this renewed revelation to be tears of joy.  Because behind each cloud is the sun (well, given it it day light) and beyond each darkness is God's presence, even at night. 

I am loved, no matter what, warts, unkind thoughts, and all. 

Thanks to the grace of God.  Thanks be to God.

Word for 2013

Various bloggers that I respect select a word to represent their plan for their life in the coming year.  I am adopting the word LISTEN as my word.  To be still and listen - to God and to others.  To not spend the time someone else is speaking preparing my next remarks.  And that will be a bit difficult for me.

And while I am listening, I will listen to see if I am to let others know that I (randomly) post to this blog.  I would like to share my knitting experiences more or less as they occur, with others.  And this blog would be a good place to share.  Like twice this Christmas season having to almost hold my breath that I would have enough yarn to finish a pair of socks.  In both cases I started the set convinced I had enough yarn, then doubting as the second sock was nearing completion- and the skein of yarn significantly dwindling.  In both cases I found myself making alternate plans- going to be bed and --- could I find another skein, if I did would it show a significant difference in the dye lot.... would I have to frog and re-knit with a slightly shorter cuff....?  In both cases I forged ahead, and in both cases ended up with enough - and a very small ball of leftover yarn.

Is that how I treat myself?  With doubt in myself.  Isn't that part of my positive listening that I am going to work hard on this year?  When I (or another person that I trust) tell me I have enough, to sincerely believe.  So maybe the first place to start is to Listen and see if I should share this blog.

What do you think, God?

The Purpose of Christmas

As I read an advent message today, I am reminded that the purpose of Christmas was that we be one with God.  Atonement - that time when we are At One with God.  All God wants for us to do is to surrender to his purposes, of love.  As Micah says, to love mercy, do justice and be one with God.  Let my gifts to others, those given and those yet to give, be representative of my love and not simply things that might bring pleasure to myself or others.

Through the messages of the past several days, I am again reminded that God takes "ordinary" people to do extraordinary things as vessels of delivering the message of God's love for each and every one of us. 

May it be so as I live my life-
Thanks be to God.

Advent versus Christmas

We are in the liturgical season of Advent, but in general public, we party as if it is Christmas.  It is hard to be quiet and prepare in public.  The mood is festive, not anticipatory waiting.  My gift shopping is close to completed.  We celebrated our family gathering and gift exchange on Saturday, and the greatest gift we recieved was being together with our family.  I would say "especially our lost granddaughter" - but truly I was happy to see each and every person.  I was happy to see my daughter in law's enjoyment of our gifts to her - I was happy to see our son  being able to spend time with his daughter.  I was happy to see our 14yr old granddaughter with all her make-up and our 17 yr old  being so "grown  up".  I am always happy to spend time with my daughter and son.

Now I am in an advent mode - trying to sit quietly with scripture and with God.  Reading and hearing the prophet Micah as he reminds us to be preparing our lives and our hearts by doing God's work - caring for others, not putting ourselves first.  Not being greedy.

My greed sometimes in other's happiness - perhaps I get too much joy from purchasing and making things that will bring joy to another - a form of greed, of which I am guilty.

So today, I will go to the church, and prepared Christmas cards for those who are not able to come to church and remind them that they are still in our hearts.  And in that way sit with God and listen.  May we all remember to slow down and listen - stop, watch and listen, not just for oncoming trains, but for God to be in our hearts.

Owning the truth

Today Sandpiper used John 17: 37 where Jesus says "Everyone who is of the truth hears my voice".  Those of us that know the truth - that Jesus is the Son of God, and thus God, know of His kingly stature - not someone like Pilate, someone come to rule the world in an earthly manner.

And Sandpiper went on to say that if you know the truth (emphasis mine) - the truth owns you.  I find this disturbingly appropriate this morning.  Over the last couple days, I used the savings acct with my inheritance to pay a bill - off setting what I had spent for Keith's weather station and our fun trip to Va to be with Robin and family (and Mira and family).  And in my haste when I made that transfer, I thought the amount in the savings acct was $5000 less that I thought I remembered it to be. 

I have "fretted" over that for the last several days.  Gone over my notepad of what I  had spent the inheritance money on.  My fear has been - since I deposited the $25,000, that I would "fritter it away" and not know/remember where it had gone.  I wanted that money to "count for something".  I guess maybe I thought it would devalue Florence if I could not account for my spending.

Well, after compiling what I could here at the house to verify my accounting for what I had spent, I was ready to confront the bank-  so I actually took a minute to look again at the bank account on the web, and indeed, the truth was what I remembered.  not what I thought I had seen - and as someone famous had said, that truth freed me from worry. 

So, let there be two lessons from this - one, if I trust myself to know the truth, trust yourself/have faith in your intuitions.  And, don't spend so much time worrying, double check the account - maybe I saw some number incorrectly.  Enough said.

Faith in God, faith in myself.  Gotta love it - and myself.